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Wednesday, 17 February 2016

A Letter For When You Feel Like A Failure

Dear Friend,

If you saw the heading for this post and decided to press the continue reading button, then at some point in your life (or even just recently), you thought: I can’t. It’s impossible. I give up. You’ve felt like a failure.

I know what you’re thinking: This is a book blog! Why is this sort of post on here? The truth? I have a voice on this blog, and what I’m about to talk about is, in my eyes, very important and relevant to everybody, even bookworms.

I have quite recently felt like giving up, throwing in the towel, whatever. I wanted to go under the bed covers with my favourite book and forget about how horrible life can be sometimes and ignore all responsibilities. Honestly, I still feel this way. It’s become quite hard to get up in the morning and get on with life with a fake smile on my face.

Backstory: I'm doing work placement for college in a school and I'm in the seven year olds’ class group, and I'm finding it quite difficult. While the children seem to really like me and respect me, planning lessons and controlling such a large group is quite hard for me, as I'm normally really quiet. And when I had a supervisory visit, I found out I didn’t do as well as I'd hoped. And that’s really got me feeling down as looking after children has always been a passion of mine and struggling with something I loved and thought I was good at is really wrecking my confidence.

So what I'm going to tell you is just as important for me to take in as well as you. Even if you’re not going through something right now, maybe you have in the past, and understand this feeling. Unfortunately, this is a part of life we all must face. But I'm going to tell you something that deep down, I know is true. That really big thing you’re stressing about? That huge assignment or presentation you have coming up? In a year, that’s not going to matter. What matters is you. You are special. You are different, and unique, and amazing. You have an outlook that nobody else does, and that’s why nobody can use your own voice but you. Maybe there’s something you’re struggling at, and it’s okay that you are. We can’t all be good at everything, no matter how great that would be.

Hell, you’ve probably heard this a million times, haven’t you? I know I have. Bruno Mars telling us you’re beautiful “just the way you are”, saying you’re perfect being you… blah blah blah. It’s true though! If you stand in front of a mirror and really look at yourself, and smile that amazing smile of yours, you’ll realise that what seems like the most important thing in the world really isn’t. You really are perfect the way you are. Its believing it is the problem.

I know that my problem won’t seem so bad in a few months’ time. But right now it seems like the absolute worst thing in the world, and no matter how much I try to tell myself that it’s not the end of the world, it doesn’t seem to sink in. My heart doesn’t believe it.

I think I have to focus on what I'm good at instead of what I'm not. If you’re a fellow book blogger like me, then we have a passion together. Our passion is books. We are taking something we take immense pleasure from, and being productive about it. This is what I'm good at, and I can say that I have this, no matter what else happens in my life; I will have books. I will have my blog.

And you have yours. Or whatever your passion in life is; whether it’s cooking, or baking, or decorating or writing, whatever. It makes you you. There will always be self-doubt nagging at you, but you have to ask yourself, how much do you care? How strongly do you love your passion? You’ve been given an extraordinary gift, and now it’s time to use it.

 You can do it; just go be you.

*inspiration for this post came from This Incandescent Life*

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